She's fifteen and she's scared. How can someone she once thought of as "a protector for life" be the one that continues to hurt her so much. Still she forgives him over and over again. Mentally, emotionally and most of all physically she's bruised. 

 

Even though she has family and a few friends that assure her she can talk to them about anything, she still feels as though she can't trust any of them. It's weird because she doesn't feel like anyone besides him ever understood her. But now even he's beginning to hurt her. What's a girl to do?  She thought to herself, "maybe I should tell someone," but then again, "what if they judge me though?" She knew they wouldn't really understand how she felt about him. No matter how much he had began to hurt her she still couldn't shake the love she had for him. Besides, he was older than her and she wasn't actually allowed to even date yet. She knows if she tells anyone they'll forbid her from ever seeing him again. She feels lost and so confused because although she's frightened she doesn't want to give up on him. 

 

She's been having these crazy dreams, nightmares even; lately of him choking her to death. It's the same dream each time and it always ends the same way, waking her up in a cold sweat. She's done more than convince herself that she's madly in love with him and cannot live her life without him. She couldn't stomach the thought of ever seeing him with anyone else. The thought of that truly makes her physically sick. She thinks that would literally kill her. In so many ways she feels that his swag completes her. In her mind he's like the cutest guy that she has ever been with. She constantly tells herself, "this is the best looking guy you're ever going to get. Besides he really loves me. He tells me everytime he sees me and there's no way he could be cheating on me because he's constantly calling me to see where I'm at, what it is I'm doing and whom I'm doing it with. This assures me that he cares for me and only me without a doubt. Oh and what about my virginity? That's something I'm never going to be able to get back from him. It was given to him from the bottom of my heart. I gave him something special that I've never ever thought to give to anyone else. So I'm just gonna stay and ride this thing out with him because he's bae and I just know he loves me with all his heart. The fact is he could have had any girl in the world but he chose me and that's major.

 

A man like him is supposed to tell a woman what to do. How can I ever think of betraying him. I know he loves me because even though he hits me sometimes and it hurts alot I know he loves me because he always tells me how sorry he is. Everybody makes mistakes even me. People deserve to be forgiven. Plus whenever he messes up he always begs me to forgive him and cries for me not to leave him. A few times he even bought me flowers. It's not like he doesn't admit when he screws up. So to me that's all that matters. At the end of the day he loves me and I love him too."

 

It all started with a hard thump, the crash of glass being broken and loud screams coming from Gurlene's mother in the kitchen one late November night. Gurlene Gilda Jones who had been nicknamed Gurly early on by her dad who she absolutely adored. His name, Hurley Joe Young a diesel mechanic from Springfield, Missouri. He, Gurly and her mom Anna Maria Feather Jones all lived in a duplex in the windy city of Chicago, IL  in a somewhat small middle-class part of town by the name of Dunning. Gurly first met her dad when she was about 2 in a half years old because for the few years of her existence her dad was serving out a 3 year bid which he did 80% of for armed robbery in the 1st degree. Her mother had gotten pregnant by her dad right before he went in. So at the time of her birth he wasn't there to see her come into the world nor sign the birth certificate and so she ended having to take her mom's last name. Still that didn't discourage her dad for caring and loving for her unconditionally. That is why when he came home he made a vow to change his entire life for the better. He attended Lincoln tech, an automotive school where he obtained his degree in diesel mechanics. 

 

Gurly's mom was a licenced bartender who also did odd jobs like cosmetology and seasonal tax preparation. Both of Gurly's parents always tried the most to give her the best of everything including love but that didn't change the fact that they would often argue. Many times the arguments would be over the lack of money because although her dad had a decent job he also had a gambling addiction and her mom liked to spend freely as well. Mostly on clothing for the both of them like bags, fine coats and shoes. Every now and again her mom would go out with her girls for a Round Robbins night or two and her look had to be on point. So she had to give them her best presentation. Gurly was alot like her mom that way when it came down to dressing up. She truly lived up to her nickname indeed. She was such a "gurly" girl. Matching leather coats and boots. The latest trends in fashion filled her closets. So it wasn't hard for her to stand out. She was also very pretty and mature for her age. Mentally and physically. She inherently got her first sight of boobs by the time she was 12. That made her be somewhat of a target not only for guys her age but for some older guys as well. That's how she first met Corbin who everyone knew as "Chance."

 

To be continued...  (see you next issue!)

Did you know that a survey from www.futureswithoutviolence.org conducted a survey of 7th graders in a high risk community which evaluated that 1in 4 girls reported of being a victim of physical dating violence in the past year. 

Also did you know that the same study found that 1 in 5 boys reported perpetrating physical violence in a dating relationship in the past year. 

Domestic Violence impacts 1 in 4 women. It also impacts 1 in 14 men. 1 in 6 men will be victims of sexual abuse but often suffer in silence because many times people don't actually believe them.

More info stats from:
www.alternativetoviolence.org

Did you know:

Every minute 20 people are victims of intimate partner violence.

A woman is beaten every 9 seconds in the U.S.

Domestic Violence is the third leading cause of homelessness among families.

If you or anyone you know is a victim of "dating domestic violence" or domestic violence abuse in general please do not waste another moment. Contact "The National Domestic Violence Hotline" today or visit www.thehotline.org 
Contact # 1-800-799-7233 or 
TTY: # 1-800-787-3224